


A traveling man

by Writelikethat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adventurer Dean, Blow Jobs, Domestic Castiel, Drinking, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, Gay Castiel, M/M, Married Sam, Masturbating, Pining, Sailboat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4911814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writelikethat/pseuds/Writelikethat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is living his own home with a steady job and good income while Dean is living on a whim. Going on adventures and traveling across the world whenever he feel like it. How can those two ever find something that both of them can live with?<br/>In which Sam and Charlie are married and have kids. Cas is a friend of Charlie and meet Dean when he comes home from one of his trips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So this is the famous Dean

Castiel sat on the floor playing with the four year old boy. They drove cars over the carpet making a lot of noise. Castiel loved the little boy, and he looked over at the girl, almost two years old, and she had the prettiest grin as she sat on the floor playing with one of her brother’s cars. Their father was lying on the couch watching TV with his feet hanging over the edge and their mother, and Castiel’s closest friend, was picking up some clothes from the floor around them. 

Sam and Charlie had married five years ago and since then made a whole life for themselves. Castiel had to admit that sometimes, he was really jealous of what they got. He had a job, working on some boring computer stuff, made good money, sure, but what good was money if you didn’t use them for anything? 

Castiel rested his back against a chair as Kevin, the little boy drove a car up one of his jean dressed legs and kept going over his stomach and all the way up to his shoulder, across his chest and then down again on the other side. He looked around in their living room. It was quite messy, but he was used to it. Having two kids running around, sure it had to be a mess. Plus, he knew Charlie; she wasn’t one for keeping it spotless. He liked that too. Their home was a great place to come and forget about his boring life. It felt like ha home. 

Charlie had called him to wake him up like she often did on Saturdays, and forcing him over for breakfast. 

“Sam’s brother is coming by today. I really want you to meet him.” She almost sang into his ear. 

“Sure, sure. Sam has a brother?” Castiel had muttered down in his pillow. Charlie laughed. 

“You silly boy. You know he does.”

“Yeah, the one that didn’t bother to come to your wedding. I know.”

“He was on the other side of the world, and didn’t make it back. You can’t blame him for Sam’s decision to get married in a hurry.” Charlie said with a fondness in her voice. 

“Whatever. I’ll be there in 30 minutes.” Castiel had tried to pull himself out of bed, but the struggle was real. He had been out with someone from work last night, having one too many beers. 

This Saturday was lazy and calm and familiar to Castiel. He was often at Charlie’s for the weekends. She knew him well enough to know that he used to get lonely and she always looked after him like she had since they were in high school together, and nobody else cared about him. 

Kevin’s hands let go of his long row of cars as they heard a rumbling motor outside. Sam got up with a happy expecting face and Charlie winked at Castiel. 

“He’s here!” She said lifting up their little girl, Anna, and walking to the door to meet their guest. 

They all looked so exited and Castiel felt a little misplaced as he dragged himself up in the sofa. He had never met Sam’s brother before. Like he had said to Charlie this morning, the dude wasn’t even at their wedding. But he had seen him. He was represented in several pictures around the house, and Castiel didn’t know whether he wanted to meet him or not. He looked so much like a man, with adventures eyes and a set of lips that made Castiel’s stomach flutter. Even though the guy was in and out of their lives, it seemed like Sam were really close to his brother. 

Instead of thinking about it, Castiel turned to look at the scene in the doorway. He couldn’t see the man at first. Both children threw themselves at him, and his voice was all he heard. It was deep and soft as he talked to the kids, he hugged Sam and Castiel saw an arm in a leather jacket over Sam’s shoulder and then he hugged Charlie. That was when he saw him. He was taller than Charlie so Castiel could see him over her head. He smiled down at her like she was a dear sister, and he gently let one finger touch her cheek as he complimented her on her happiness. Castiel looked at his face; he was much like the pictures, with a goofy smile on those full lips and sparkling green eyes. His hair was messy, almost like he had been driving with the roof down. He was really pretty, and he somehow looked so real.

Castiel had pictured a rare animal that was above it all since he never showed up when Castiel was near, and he only saw him on pictures. This guy was a people person. Castiel was sure he was easy to like and made friends really fast. Castiel found himself a little hostile towards him because of that.

Sam stepped back and let his brother step inside the house and Castiel immediately thought that the pictures was far from telling the truth about that man. He was probably taller than Castiel, and he was definitely broader. His shoulders pressed against his black leather jacket. Even with that on, Castiel could see his biceps as he held Anna in his arms, making her laugh. His jeans hung low on his hips and tight enough so it revealed a pair of muscular legs in a way that made Castiel short of breath. Castiel tore his gaze away from him and got up. He probably should introduce himself before he decided to run out the back door. 

Charlie stepped in between them as she sent a telling wink at Castiel. 

“Dean, you have to meet my best friend.” She said happily. 

“I thought I was your best friend.”

“Sure you are, but this is my longest best friend.” She continued with a laugh. 

Dean lifted his head and laid his eyes on Castiel. He felt like he was being scanned and he stood like frozen, meeting his green sharp eyes. He took one step in his direction stretching out one hand as Anna sat on the other, resting her head into his neck. Castiel forced himself not to swallow as he took his hand. 

“I’m Dean, Sam’s brother. You probably knew that.” Dean said holding his hand in a tight grip almost strong enough to break his hand. Castiel squeezed back just as hard. 

“Castiel.” He said and let go of his hand and Dean smirked. 

“Nice to meet you, Castiel.” He said making him feel dizzy by the way he said his name. 

“So do you like live in the neighborhood?” He asked looking down at Anna who was starting to get ready for her nap. 

“No, I live in the city.” He said overhearing Charlie’s huff of laugh. “What about you?”

“If I live in the neighborhood?” Dean looked up at him, his eyes teasingly green. 

“No, I mean… you know…” Castiel stuttered and wanted to sink into the ground why, couldn’t he keep it together for two lousy minutes? Dean smirked even more.

“You want to know where I live. Well, it depends. At the moment I’m actually living in the basement at my parents.” He huffed a laugh, but it didn’t look like he cared that he lived with his parents, or even cared if Castiel cared about it. He just told him like it was totally normal and it probably was, he would never be home long enough to even make a mess. They stood on the floor, Castiel feeling hot and uncomfortable, Dean looking like nothing ever got to him. He was definitely making a mess of Cas right there.

“So, Dean. Tell me what you’ve been up to since last?” Sam sat down on the couch and looked up at his brother. Castiel let out a relived sigh as Dean walked over to Sam to sit down with a sleeping Anna in his arms. He smiled fondly at her before he leaned back comfortably. 

“We pretty much have been around on that sailboat, from Hawaii to French Polynesia.”

“You lucky son of a bitch,” Sam sighed. “Here I am with my hands full with two kids and you get to sail the seas.” 

Dean laughed a little. “Yeah, but this is pretty good too, it seems.” He looked up at Sam smiling and his little brother had to agree. He wouldn’t have traded this in for the world. 

“What did you do out there all day?”

Castiel had been dragged down on the floor again by Kevin, but he still followed the conversation on the coach as he built a Lego tower. 

“Mostly we just hung around, looking at the sea, sometimes diving to spot some awesome fish. I even touched a turtle.” 

“No way!” Sam said a little too loud and Anna opened her eyes. 

“Look what you did, man.” Dean said fondly starting to hum to the little girl. Castiel had to force back a smile as he noticed the song was the chorus of “Eye of the Tiger.” Sam just chuckled. 

“Was it just the three of you?”

“The couple who owns the boat is Benny – you know him, and Laura. They travel around all year round. Then there was me and Elizabeth.” Dean shrugged his shoulders and looked down at Anna again. 

“What happened to her?”

“She went home a couple weeks ago.”

“I thought you said you were going to marry her, after she told you she was a mechanic.” Sam pushed him lightly in the shoulder. Dean shook his head once. 

“Well, that won’t happen.” For a moment he looked sad, like he remembered something that made him feel bad. But he shook it off. 

Castiel let Kevin lay over his thighs while he built a Lego car. Kevin wanted his attention and Castiel was happy to give it to him. Eventually he decided to find Charlie and stood up.

After Castiel had left the room Dean looked up at his brother. 

“What’s the deal with this Castiel dude?”

“What do you mean?”

“It seems like he is just as much an uncle as I am, maybe even more.” Dean said sounding almost jealous. 

“Yeah, well he’s just always been here, you know. We use to work out together on Tuesdays, and he’s here most weekends, and sometimes at dinner a few times throughout the week.”

“Like I said, is seems like he lives here.”

Sam shrugged his shoulders. 

“I don’t know man, Charlie is trying to make him feel at home. I don’t think he’s got it that easy. Charlie hasn’t told me everything. He is a little bit strange, but you get used to his seriousness, and he’s easy to be with, he doesn’t expect a lot.”

Dean didn’t say anything about that. He thought about the man sitting on the floor building Lego with Kevin, his hair sticking out in every direction as if he just got out of bed and didn’t bother to fix his hair. His eyes were direct and focused. It was a disturbingly good look, for a guy.

Castiel felt more at ease when he walked into the kitchen and found Charlie there.

“You need help with something?”

“No, not really. You should just talk to Sam and Dean.” Charlie smiled at him. 

“Yeah…” Castiel dragged it out leaning against the bench. 

“What’s up?”

“Nothing!” He exclaimed a little too loud. “I should probably get going. I’ve been here since this morning, and you have other guests coming… “ He trailed off when Charlie turned to look at him. 

“Did someone say something?”

“No, why?” He asked. 

“You seem distracted. And you usually don’t mind even if Sam’s parents are coming over. They like you, you know.”

“Sorry, Charlie. I’m just tired from last night.”

“Sure. You’ll be her for Anna’s birthday on Tuesday?”

Castiel smiled at her making sure he would be there. Charlie gave him a hug and let him go.

Castiel would not let his mind put into words what he was feeling. If he did, then he would never be able to un-think it. It would be dangerous thinking stuff about Charlie’s brother in law.


	2. "I always do this!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is having a hard time letting go of his thoughts about Dean and get into a fight with Charlie

Sundays Castiel had his routine to maintain. He got up around ten, making some kind of breakfast; eggs or pancakes or whatever, before he sat down with the paper, or listening to the radio, sometimes both. His house was so silent it almost screamed at him, but he didn’t really notice or he pretended he didn’t.

At twelve he locked the door to go for a run. He usually was outside for an hour, running about ten miles. Today, he almost ran twenty miles. He couldn’t seem to stop. His head were spinning and he tried not to think about the most manly and adventurous man sitting in the couch holding the little girl in his arms. It was like he just felt at home, even though Castiel knew for a fact that he hadn’t been at their house that many times. He seemed annoyingly well in his own skin.   
After he got back from the run he walked out in the garden to do some push-ups and sit-ups. He got bored real quick, and went back into the shower instead. He tried really hard not to think about messy brown hair over a pair of green eyes looking at him with want. 

“Stop it.” He said to himself turning the running water on cold and gasped in shock as it hit him running over his body. 

Castiel tried not to be too excited by the little girl’s birthday. He had bought her gift some time ago, a book with princesses. He spent a few hours on Monday evening baking. Castiel had always loved working in the kitchen, making delicious foods, anything from dinners to cake. 

He wasn’t late, but he wasn’t the first to arrive at Charlie’s either. For all he knew their family could have been there all day. Sam’s parents who smiled friendly at Castiel as he came in, and there was Charlie’s mother who waved eagerly. She always liked Castiel, and he was grateful to her and how she welcomed him into their home when he was younger. Dean was also there. Castiel knew he would, so he had been prepared. But he had not been prepared to look at this man and realize he was even hotter than last time. He was wearing a pair of blue tight jeans and a button-up shirt in black. He was sitting on the couch with one hand over the back of it, and as Castiel let his eyes wander over him, he put two fingers up to his temple and nodded slightly. He barely had the time to contain himself before a small hand was tugging at his from the floor. 

“Cas. Cas!” He looked down at the little redheaded girl smiling, happy for the distraction. He lifted her up in a tight hug, feeling her small arms reach around his neck. He sat down and gave her the present, and helped her to get off the wrapping paper. She looked at the princesses with her eyes wide and started to flip through the pages. Then she did it again. 

Castiel went into the kitchen and gave Charlie a hug. 

“Your kids are getting older.” He said. 

“I know.” She exclaimed. 

“Here, I made a pecan and maple pie with chocolate.” He put it down on the cake table and lifted the lid off. Charlie laughed fondly. 

“You really are the cutest.” She said looking at the pie with a perfect crust and pecans neatly placed on top. Castiel made a little laugh and agreed with her. “You may want to get some whipped cream to that.” He said before turning back into the living room. 

“This is amazing as f-“ Dean stopped and looked at his brother who had just slapped him at the back of his head. 

“Language! There are kids here!” Sam said looking at him with stern eyes. 

“Well, I was just trying to express that this is the… best pie I’ve ever tasted, and I’ve tasted a few, no offence mum!” Dean stabbed a bite with his fork and put it in his mouth. Mary laughed at her son. Dean turned to Charlie who was busy with Anna. 

“When did you become the queen of pies?” He asked. 

“I’m not.” Charlie answered as she threw a quick glance at Cas. She knew he hated taking credit for his baking, so she concentrated on her child who was making a mess of cake and candy on the table. 

“Well, then you have to tell me where you got it.” Dean was not ready to let it go just yet. He took another bite while looking at Charlie in anticipation. 

“I got it from Cas.” She said without looking up. Cas felt his face turn red, and he lifted his cup of coffee. 

“Really.” Dean said in a low voice almost as if he spoke to himself, but he looked up at Cas. 

“Man, this… did you make it?” He asked interested. 

“Yes.” Cas said, almost snapping at him. 

“You really know how to make ‘em.” He said taking another bite totally oblivious about the short answer from Cas. 

Cas got out of his chair not able to sit there looking at Dean going at it on his pie, it was too… disturbing with him enjoying his pie with soft moans, licking his fingers and closing his eyes in pleasure.   
Cas went to sit down next to Charlie’s mother. She told him about what she was doing these days, and asked about his life. She didn’t pry, just out of interest. Cas looked over at Dean who was still eating his pie, and when he looked up, Cas looked away, fast. Kevin climbed up on his lap, demanding him to read. He held the book Cas had given Anna and rested his head back on Cas’ chest. Cas leaned back on the couch, holding Kevin tight and started to read. It wasn’t long before his head started to fall down and Cas closed the book. Sam came to put his son to bed and Cas took some of the dirty dishes into the kitchen. He was so familiar in their house that he didn’t think twice about putting it in the dishwasher and put some of the cakes away. 

“Hey there.” A voice all too familiar to Cas as he had just heard it for the first time a few days ago. He turned around slowly looking up at Dean leaning in the doorway. He tried not to think that Dean looked at him too, but he noticed that the guy did let his eyes wander over his body. 

“Hi.” He said, trying to take a deep breath without him noticing.

“It was a really good pie you had there.”

“Thanks.” Cas looked up at Dean’s smiling face and noticed his freckles. 

Trying not to make a sigh or any other revealing sound he let one hand run through his hair. When he looked back at Dean his eyes were narrowed as if he was thinking about something. Cas turned around to the kitchen bench, but it was already spotless so he grabbed a cup and poured some coffee in it. It wasn’t like he was going to get any sleep tonight anyway. 

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Dean said as he walked further into the kitchen. 

“Sure I do.” Cas said trying to lean casually against the kitchen bench. 

“Yeah, to the kids maybe, and Charlie.”

Cas shrugged his shoulders, looking directly at him. Dean was the first to break away. Instead of saying anything he opened a cupboard grabbing a cup. He walked towards Cas as the coffee was behind him. Before Cas could move, Dean placed his hands on the bench on each side of Cas, making it impossible to move. He could feel his whole body tense as Dean leaned in to grab the coffee, making his strong, muscular arm touch over his body. Cas could smell him, he was a blend of coffee, coconut and soap. He could barely hear him pour the coffee into his cup over the rush of blood in his ears, and then Dean pushed away looking him in the eye as he took a sip, still standing very close. Cas breathed out slowly to steady himself.

“So you do talk.” Dean said teasingly. Cas lifting his eyebrows questioning.

“With your body.” He said in a low voice that made Cas feel a familiar tingling down his spine and all the way into his pants. Part of him wanted to push Dean against the wall and kiss him senseless, the other part wanted to run away at the thought of Dean knowing that Cas reacted on him. That he felt something when he was close. 

As predicted Cas didn’t get much sleep that night. He really tried going to sleep and forget about the great smell and a teasing smile, but eventually he kicked the blankets away and let his hand wrap around his hard length. He started stroking himself slow and steady imagining Dean’s full lips closing around him. There was no chance that pretty mouth was anything but perfect for that. Cas let out a strangled groan and his hips started to thrust up into his fist. He was breathing fast still thinking about the greenest eyes and the sounds he would make around him. With a gasp Cas spilled all over himself and fell back against the pillows. 

The rest of the week was not easier. Instead of working he ended up sitting by the window staring out in the darkness thinking about green eyes, strong muscles and a sly smile on pretty and full lips. He was about to go crazy. How did one person become all of his entire life? And not someone he could have. The man had almost been engaged to a woman. And even if there was a chance Dean flirted with him, he would never stay at home for long and the guy was Sam’s brother and that would cause a lot of trouble. He had to put it together. 

Like most Fridays Cas went out with his coworkers. They sat at the same table, drinking a few beers. Some of them moved on to a club and others walked over to the pool table for a game or two. Cas decided he would join the pool, but most of the time he sat down, drinking beers and taking every shot that came his way. He was convinced it would help him forget about strong arms and a lean body. He stumbled home and got into bed finally falling asleep and he didn’t wake up until his phone started calling from under his pillow the next morning. 

“Yeah?” He grunted. 

“Cas, are you up?”

“Right.” He scoffed trying to roll over on his back, but his head started spinning, so he decided to lay still. 

“Why? The clock is 11.30 am.” She said. “Are you coming over for lunch?”

“Now?”

“Yes.” 

“Can’t… can’t move.” He said. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Her voice rising as she got scared.

“Calm down, Charlie. It just got a little late last night – only beers.” He added. “Maybe a couple of shots.”

Cas heard her sigh but she didn’t want to hang up, so she asked if he could come over for dinner, but he was trying to stay away as long as Dean hung around. He promised he would come by soon before hanging up and falling back into sleep. 

The next week he made excuses about being busy at work. He talked to Charlie on the phone when she tried to force him to come over. She was starting to worry about him. Cas met Sam at the gym like every other Tuesday and they worked out for about an hour before Sam patted him on the shoulder saying they’d meet next week. 

When Sunday came around again he put on a gray shirt, a pair of shorts and his running shoes. He put his phone in a strap around his right arm and turned the sound up in his earphones before he started to jog in a steady and calming pace. He always felt so relaxed when he was running. It was a kind of therapy he needed every day after sitting still at work. He had been running a lot lately, to get rid of some tension; the rest was something he had to take care of in the shower when he got back. 

Charlie and Sam lived about 12 miles away, and he could easily run to their place. It was almost two weeks since he visited them and he was getting a hard time from Charlie about it. As he came up to their door he almost didn’t want to knock. He knew Charlie would be pissed and he didn’t have any answers for her.

“Since when do you knock before coming in?” Sam looked down at him with a smile.

“Since I pissed off your wife.” He said and Sam chuckled. 

“Yeah, that would do it.” He smirked, letting him in. 

Cas walked into their living room and hugged the children before he went to the kitchen. 

“Sam, could you put Anna in her chair, her food’s almost ready.” She said with her back against him. 

“Sure.” He said. 

“Cas.” Charlie turned to face him and he noticed how she stared at him to find out if there was anything out of order. She looked annoyed and a little bit relieved. But she soon got to only angry and turned back around to the stove. Cas walked out and picked up Anna, putting her in her chair, playing with her as he waited for Charlie. 

She didn’t say anything until Anna was put down for a nap. Cas just waited. He knew Charlie, so he just sat there looking at the tv and talked a bit to Sam. Charlie sat down with a sigh. 

“So you’re not mad at me or something?” She began.

“No, of course not.”

“I thought you were sick or that something had happened.”

Cas rubbed his face with one hand. 

“I just had a lot to do at work, and time just… you know… goes by fast.”

“Yeah, but in the three years we have been living here, the only time you don’t come by is when you are sick or is traveling. You know, even when you are sick you come here for soup!” She spat at him. 

“Charlie.” Sam said calmly. 

“Oh, Sam, just take Kevin outside, will you?” She looked at him and he eventually left. 

“It’s Dean isn’t it.” She said the moment Sam was out. Her voice had no trace of the anger she displayed earlier.

“What? No—“ Cas stopped himself, blushing a little. 

“I saw how you looked at him when you met. And I know how you get.”

“No.” Cas continued to deny it. 

“Come on, don’t deny it. I’m still pissed that you didn’t bother to visit for 12 days, so you better give me a good reason.”

“Aahh!” Cas pulled his hand through is already messed up hair. “What can I do?”

Charlie put a warm hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Cas.”

“I always do this! I get hung up on people that are way out of my league. But I’m working on it, and Brenda at work got me a date next week, so I’m good.”

“Really? Who are you going out with?”

“His name is Gabriel. He works at the kindergarten where Brenda has her children.”

“Oo, exciting!”

“Charlie, I’m sorry I didn’t visit. I just needed a few days to… I don’t know… figure it out.”

“I know, Cas. Just… talk to me the next time.” She smiled and gave him a hug.


	3. Come inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean try to get to know each other which ends in a fight

Cas sat outside Charlie’s house with her, Sam and Dean. A fireplace gave them plenty of light and warmth as they sat down with their beers. Dean told them about a trip he had in India, when he almost got arrested because they thought he had bothered a cow. 

“I got out of it though. No one stand a chance against my beautiful smile.” He said with that grin that Cas definitely couldn’t stand a chance against. Cas felt it tightening low in his stomach. Because of his feelings, Cas was drinking a bit too fast. He tried not to look at a pair of strong and masculine hands that he gestured while talking. His voice was deep and soothing, and his eyes looked so… happy.

Charlie went inside to fix some snack and Sam followed her. 

“How much do you bet they are getting in a quickie in the kitchen?” Dean asked as he laughed. Cas huffed a laugh because he knew there was no point in betting against it.

“So, what do you do then, Castiel?” Dean asked arching a little bit closer in his chair. Cas may have been thinking about Dean a lot, but he knew he shouldn’t let him know that. The man was a ladie’s man so even if he had seemed to flirt with him on Anna’s birthday nothing happened since, so Cas was positive he just wanted to get a reaction out of him.

“I develop computer programs.” He said frowning inside at the sound of his boring job.

“So you’re a nerd?”

Dean looked up at him and Cas didn’t know if it was a joke or if he thought he was a nerd. Either way, why did it matter? He didn’t answer. 

“What kind of programs?” Dean asks after a pause. 

“Anything, at the time I’m working on a secure program for a high school so that they can communicate just inside the school. Like a platform.”

Dean looked impressed as he nodded. 

“So if you want, you can hack into a computer, say in the government?”

Cas made a frown, looked almost suspicious at him. Dean laughed. 

“I don’t do that.” He said dryly. 

“You must have thought about it?” Dean pushed.

Cas shook his head lightly before lifting his beer taking another sip. Charlie and Sam came back out, their hair in a mess. Dean wiggled his eyebrows intently at Cas who tried to hide his smile.

“So what are you talking about?” Charlie said as she sat down a bowl of popcorn on the table. 

“Cas’ work.”

“Oh, yeah, he makes good money.”

“You didn’t tell me that!” Dean said punching him lightly in his arm. 

“Why should I?”

“Why not? You are making good money on nerdy stuff. I bet you can do a lot of fun with a lot of money.” 

Cas huffed a laugh. “Sure.”

“What? Come on. What do you spend money on?”

“Nothing in particular.” He muttered as he looked down at the table feeling Charlie’s eyes on him. 

“You mean to tell me that you have all this money and you don’t spend them on anything? Man, that’s a waste!” Dean leaned back in his chair. 

Cas couldn’t look at them. He felt warm in his face and anger deep in his gut. He hated to talk about money, and even more so if someone started to talk about his money. He had worked hard for them, and nobody should tell him what to do about them. Dean had lived his whole life as a reckless teenager with no thought of consequence. Cas had to struggle through high school and college to have food and a place to live. The last five years of his life, he had been working to make money and he could finally say that he was in a place to feel secure about his future. He wouldn’t have to starve, or worry about whether or not he had a place to stay at night. 

“At least I don’t need to go back to my parents house after I have turned thirty because I don’t know how to spend my money!” He said angrily and got up. He heard Charlie try to stop him, but he walked with long steps through their house and out the front door. He was only a few meters down the streets before he heard Dean asking him to stop. Dean ran after him and put a hand on his shoulder. Cas tried to get away from him but stumbled and grabbed Deans arm to keep from falling. 

“Hey man, you didn’t have to get yourself all worked up!”

Cas stared at him but didn’t answer. 

“Let me drive you home.”

“I’m capable of finding my way home.”

Dean was a few inches taller and looked down in his blue eyes. 

“Charlie seemed to worry about you stumbling home alone.”

Cas shook his head and made a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “She’s a mother, she always worries. I can get home by myself.” 

“You said you live in the city.”

“Yeah, how do you think I got here?” He asked looking down at his shoes and Dean smiled a little. 

“Man, let me drive you home and I’ll spend the time apologize for whatever you got so mad about.” He said. 

Cas took a deep breath and turned around to Dean’s car. They both got into a rumbling Chevy Impala that Cas immediately loved, but didn’t want to admit. As Dean drove Cas told him where to go but other than that it was quiet. When Cas asked Dean to stop outside a small but modern house by the river Dean looked curiously at it. 

“So this is where you live?”

Cas nodded and started to go out of the car. 

“Hey, I really didn’t mean that you don’t deserve the money. I’m a kind of guy that ends up spending my money not even thinking twice. You are clearly smarter than that. Do you own this house?”

“Yes.” Cas said looking at Dean letting his eyes run over it. 

“Alone?”

“I live alone.” Cas confirmed. 

“No girlfriend, wife or?”

“Really? You can’t be that stupid.” Cas got out of the car and Dean followed. 

“I’m not stupid. I just asked you a simple question.”

“I’m as gay as they come.” He said rolling his eyes and he had to steady himself against the car to stand straight.

“Can I come inside?” Dean asked and walked to his side of the car.

Cas head shot up and he looked at Dean with his eyes wide. Dean swallowed when he realized that his choice of words wasn’t the best in terms of what they just had talked about. 

“Sure, I can make some coffee.” He said when he caught his voice again and walked towards the house. A part of him wanted to laugh at the situation and the slight blushing he had said in Dean’s cheeks. He settled with a grin.

Dean walked slowly around the living room. He looked at his pictures on the walls, his bookshelf and his furniture. 

“You want coffee or beer?” Cas looked at his back, strong and broad. 

“Since I’m driving, maybe just some coffee.” He said without looking up. 

Cas went into the kitchen trying to relax. What was he even doing at his place? 

“So Cas, did you build this yourself?”

“Yes, or I got someone to build it.” He shrugged his shoulders. 

“But you decided what kind of house and everything in it.”

“Of course.”

Dean nodded, looking out the window as if he had to think about it. Cas put a cup of coffee in front of him and opened the fridge to pull out some pie. Dean sat down at the kitchen table expectedly. 

“What pie is this?”

“Apple and cinnamon.” Cas said trying not to look at the childish happiness that spread in Deans entire face. He looked almost like a kid having birthday. 

“You want the whole thing?” He asked. 

“You got some ice cream?”

Cas sat down at the table with his cup of coffee, the pie and ice cream. He gave a fork to Dean and took the other one himself. 

“Dig in.” He said, and Dean did. Cas couldn’t stop looking at him while he ate from both the ice cream and the pie with such an energy. The joy in his face was mesmerizing and Cas laughed softly at him before he could stop it. Dean looked up almost a little embarrassed. 

“I don’t mean to freak you out, but gahh, this is the best one can get late at night.” He sighed. 

Dean walked around in the light kitchen while Cas put the ice cream back in the freezer. As he turned around Dean was standing behind him. Cas jumped a little and closed the door before Dean came closer. They were inches apart and Cas just looked him in the eyes, he didn’t move. Dean leaned in pressing their lips together. His tongue stroked lightly over his lip and Cas opened his mouth to let him in. He knew better but his body wouldn’t let him go away from this. He wanted it so bad. Dean pushed him back against the fridge and Cas let out a low groan. He felt Dean’s thigh between his legs, and Dean moaned as he felt Cas being hard against him. When Dean kissed him down his neck Cas started to pull away. Dean pushed him against the counter with a bit more force and met his lips again. Cas found himself not wanting to care, the soft lips did amazing things to him and before he could help it he let out a long sigh and pressed his hips forward.

He knew it was stupid. The man had just been almost-engaged to a girl, and Cas was pretty sure Dean wasn’t swinging his way. he probably just wanted to have some fun. Still it felt so good. He had been thinking about those lips so much and they were just as soft and great as he imagined. Dean opened the button of his jeans and then his own. 

“Dean…I…” He groaned as Dean’s naked cock pressed against his own. Dean moaned and pressed his lips to Cas’ neck. Cas just let go, there was no going back now. He started to make small movements with his hips and when Dean didn’t do anything for a moment, Cas let his hand snake down and wrap around them both. Dean gasped like he was surprised and his hands were resting on his shoulders. He let out sinful noises when Cas started to stroke them both fast and hard. They were both a bit drunk and he didn’t have time to wait. Soon they were both panting hard and thrusting into Cas’ fist. Dean came first and by the sound of his surprised gasp and almost whimpering Cas couldn’t hold it in anymore and came over his hand and both their stomachs. 

Silently Cas cleaned them up. Dean continued to let a hand run over his face like he didn’t know what to say or do, and Cas started to wonder if this was the first time he had done anything with another guy.

“I think maybe you should go.” Cas eventually said. 

Dean looked at him for a moment. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I did a pretty good job myself, but you are dating girls, and I am dating someone else.”

Dean stared at him before he rubbed one hand over his face again. 

“What does me dating a girl have anything to do with this?”

Cas shook his head, sounding like a whining girl. “I don’t want to be a rebound.”

“You are not a rebound.”

“Well, I don’t want to be an experiment.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think because I’m gay I will fuck any guy?” He asked a bit angrier than he meant, but this whole situation was getting out of hand. Dean looked at him, flinching a little at his harsh words.

“I like guys too you know, I just like girls as well.”

Cas sighed and ignored the happy little jump he felt in his chest even if a part of him didn’t believe it. “Well, you still have to go.”

“Because you are dating another dude?”

Cas didn’t say anything.

“Let’s forget about this and be friends then? You don’t even have to tell your date that you jerked off with someone else.” Dean said with a smirk.

“Sure.” Cas nodded and ran a hand through his hair as he followed Dean to the door. 

Cas went to lay in his bed, but he just stared up at the ceiling. He couldn’t get it out of his mind. The way Dean had kissed him, his hands all over his body, thigh pressing against his growing erection and his eyes got all dark with lust. His hard cock had felt so good but Cas knew it was stupid. If things got weird between them it was all because of him.


	4. "Tell me about your boyfriends then."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas tries to focus on his relationship with Gabriel, but things don't always go like planned

Tuesday came and Cas met up at the gym. He was alone for a while before Sam finally turned up, with Dean. Cas greeted them as they came over to him then Sam and Cas started their usual routine. Cas was very much aware of Dean, but he tried his best to see unfazed by it. 

Dean looked at them, or Cas in particular. The man looked a lot stronger and fit than he had imagined. It also was a lot hotter than he thought. He couldn’t help but look as Cas lay down on the bench lifting his weights above his head breathing out in concentration. Sam stood behind him for support, counted his reps and encouraged him as he pushed the weights up. His muscles bulged on his arms and Dean saw a drop of sweat run from his black hair, down his neck, making him swallow and look the other way. 

Dean might have told Cas that he was into dudes as well, but in reality he had never really felt attracted to a guy. Not until now, and this time it was real. He had of course kissed guys before; that had been a part of growing up and messing around with his buddies. But he knew full well that it didn’t really count as being gay. And then he had met Cas and in just a short amount of time he had kissed the guy and the man had made him fall apart with his hand wrapped tight around them both. It made Dean swallow hard and force himself to focus on his own workout.

Cas managed to get through the workout and he worked hard on not looking at Dean too much, just concentrate on himself. He said no to the coffee that Sam and Dean were taking across the street and walked home. Why was it so difficult to function around him? It was even worse now that he knew exactly how good he tasted and felt. Cas sighed and decided he would think about his date instead. 

It was Friday, when he usually had beers with people from work, but he didn’t mind. He showed up at the restaurant Brenda had told him to go to and waited for his date. It was kind of a blind date, only he knew how the other guy looked like. It was a man with golden hair at shoulder length, hazel brown eyes and an incredibly teasing grin. Cas took his time measuring him as he walked in. He was dressed in a black jacket over tight jeans. His hair was styled and he walked with energy in his steps. Cas soon understood that the whole person was all energy. He talked nonstop, he ate only desserts even if Cas ordered soup, and it turned out that he was quite easy to be with. They drank a lot of beers and walked through the park, still talking. Gabriel told him about his work at the kindergarten, he told him about his apartment that apparently always smelled like Indian food, and that he had a bike instead of a car. 

“You know, eating mostly candy I have to have a bike or I’ll get fat.”

Cas laughed and asked him why he ate so much candy. 

“Because I can! Because I can, man.” He said smiling up at him. “Haven’t you ever done something just because you can?” 

“Sure, I bought a house because I can.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “You are all grown up aren’t you? All about the boring work and owning a house. Well, we have to do something about that.” 

“Someone got to be grownups.” Cas insisted.

“Ouch!” He said but didn’t look like he felt bad at all as he leaned against his body and kissed him. Cas put his arms around him meeting his lips tasting all sweet.

Charlie called him up first thing the next morning. 

“Tell me about Gabriel!” She squealed.

“Please Charlie, I’m not even awake yet.” He groaned. 

“Well get out of bed and move over here.”

“Just ask me what you want to know.” He sighed and rolled over to his back. 

Charlie obviously wanted to know everything. She asked about his looks, his voice, his life and what Cas thought about him. 

“We are meeting again Wednesday.”

“That is so great! Did you kiss him?”

“Yes.”

Cas had to remind Charlie to breathe slow before her excitement got the best of her. 

“Now, will you let me go back to sleep?”

“Come on, Cas, you should wake up and do something useful.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow.” He hung up. 

The next weeks passed and things kind of went back to normal. Cas worked, came by to Charlie and Sam for dinner, he was out on several dates with Gabriel and he and Dean talked like they were friends. Cas never forgot about him though. He thought about him often, more than he would admit. 

Dean worked out together with him and Sam every Tuesday, and sometimes they even were alone. The tension between them was still there, so when Dean let his hands rest on Cas’ shoulder after helping him lift heavy weights or when knees touched in the booth when they had coffee, Cas felt electrocuted. But Cas had decided to turn his feelings towards Gabriel who wanted to take Cas with him to try anything. He wanted to make him a child again. Gabriel was always in a good mood and always ready to try something new. Cas tried really hard not to compare him to Dean, but it happened sometimes that Cas thought that Gabriel’s eyes wasn’t as pretty or that he wished he was taller. His lips weren’t as soft and pretty as Dean’s full lips. Eventually Cas had to push it to the back of his head and focus on what he had going on. Gabriel was great in his way.

One weekend Gabriel had told him that they were going to a party. Cas didn’t do that so much, sure, he hadn’t past thirty, but he had done that enough while going to school, and things had happened, so he preferred to live a quiet life. Gabriel wouldn’t hear it, so eventually Cas gave in and said he would go with him. 

Dean sat comfortably in a chair watching tv with Sam and Charlie when her phone started to call.

“Cas?” She waited as she got a more and more worried look on her face. 

“Calm down, Cas. It’s okay, tell me what happened?” She ran one hand through her long red hair and looked at Sam with a tired look. 

“What a dick!” She said out loud. 

“No, we’ve been drinking. Cas… Cas? Don’t you know where you are?” She looked concerned at Sam. She put one hand over the speaker of the phone. 

“Something is wrong, Sam. I think Gabriel must have slipped something to him.”

“Drugs?” Dean sat up. He had been in on a lot trough the years, but he never got into drugs because of Benny. He had grown up with a father who struggled with his addiction and that was enough for Dean to keep his distance. He hated what it did to people and how irresponsible they got. Charlie nodded. 

“Yeah, he doesn’t know where he is, or where he should go.”

“Cas, you there? We’ll figure it out. Dean says he can come and get you. Yes, but he says it’s cool. He doesn’t mind. Now tell me where you are?”

“I’m so tired of this.” Charlie sighed as she waited for him to find out where he was. 

“I know, Charlie.” Sam said and leaned over to hug her. 

“He said he didn’t do this anymore. He grew up!” She put one hand over her eyes and breathed slowly. Dean looked confused from her to Sam. Did this mean that Cas used to do drugs? The thought of it hurt him. It hurt him more than the thought of him with Gabriel. 

For the last few weeks Cas had been with him a lot, and even if Dean would have denied it to anyone who cared listen, he still felt a little jealous. There was no reason to, but that didn’t help. He didn’t like seeing Cas put his arm around the chipper little man and kiss the top of his head and he definitely didn’t like that Gabriel got Cas into this kind of stuff.

“Charlie, it’s been over a year since last time.” Sam said calmly. “Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“I know. I bet it’s because he is in a weird place in his life.” She muttered. “Yes, Cas. He’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Go outside and don’t move! Don’t start a fight and don’t go anywhere with anyone… just don’t do anything!” She said sternly before hanging up. 

“He’s at P3. I’m sorry about this, Dean.” She said. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get him home safe and sound.”

“Make sure you follow him all the way inside and get him something to eat or he will do that all alone and for all I know the house will catch fire, or he will walk down the street to get take out.”

“Relax Charlie. I’ve dealt with drunk people before.”

“Yeah, but this is Cas!” She sighed and sunk onto Sam who put a protective arm around her and pulled her close. 

“It’ll be fine, Charlie.” Sam kissed her forehead. 

Dean drove fast through the city. P3 wasn’t very far from where Cas lived, but it was far enough to get distracted or disorientated when you were on a trip. He had to park up the street and walk to the club and he didn’t see Cas anywhere. He tried calling but no one answered. Dean sighed and thought about calling Charlie, but she had been enough concerned and he had promised to take care of the guy so she didn’t need to know about this. Dean walked up to the guard outside the club. The tall man looked down at him with a frown. 

“Gonna let me inside?”

“You paid?”

“I’m here to pick up a friend.” Dean said looking at the tall man with a bored look. 

“No pay, no getting inside.”

Dean shook his head and tried to call again. Why did he walk off? He didn’t even know if Cas was back inside or if he had walked home with that so called boyfriend of his. Dean felt the urge to punch someone and he knew that the bad feeling he had felt the past few weeks had little to do with him wanting to be out on an adventure, but everything to do with a pair of blue eyes that hunted him day and night. 

He was about to go pay to get inside when he saw a man push another up against the wall in the alley behind him. He knew he would recognize the sexy bed hair anywhere. Cas was pushed against the wall and tried to get free but he could barely stand, let alone get a strong man off of him. Dean walked with long steps up to them. 

“He asked you to stop.” Dean said voice low. 

“Yeah? Why do you care?”

“Just get off him. He isn’t up for it.”

“Back off!” A blonde man with an accent let go of Cas, who looked in disbelief at Dean, and turned to Dean. 

“What are you gonna do?” Dean asked and ducked as the other man let one arm swing at him. He stood up again and let all his anger and frustration of his feelings for Cas out on this man. He punched him hard several times before he ran out of the alley and Dean had his arm around Cas’ waist before he fell to the ground. 

“You weren’t supposed to move from the sidewalk.”

“He wanted to make out.” Cas said almost giggling. 

“He wanted to do a lot more.” Dean muttered as they walked slowly down the street. 

Cas didn’t protest when Dean insisted on following him all the way inside and force food into him. 

“What happened to Gabriel?”

“He took off.”

“Why?”

Cas shook his head. “I finally got an explanation to why he is in such a good mood all the time.”

Dean huffed a laugh. “So he’s always high?”

“Pretty much. So I’m boring.” He stated and didn’t look at Dean as he shook his suit jacket off and unbuttoned a few of the buttons on his shirt. 

“You are not boring, Cas.” Dean said. 

“Yes I am. I have a boring job, nine to five, sitting in an office in front of a computer. I go home to my own house where I spend time working out, baking or occasionally go over to Charlie so I don’t feel too alone. Fridays I spend out with my co workers and Sundays I run. All week, all year.” He didn’t say it to get pity. He merely stated a fact as he stumbled into the living room and fell down on the couch. 

“You just make it sound boring, it doesn’t have to be.”

“Yeah? What was it you said to me? You told me it was a waste that I had money because I didn’t use it. And you were right.”

“No I wasn’t. You were right, I don’t like living at home again, and it is because I don’t think before I spend my money. You are here you have a life with friends, and Charlie’s children? You are more of an uncle than I am. You buy them presents and you bake for their birthday! It’s a life, Cas, don’t you forget that.” Dean sat on the table beside the couch and looked at those blue eyes that were dilated from the drugs at the moment, looking at him. Cas lifted one arm and rested it on Deans knee. 

“So green.” He muttered. 

“What?” Dean couldn’t believe that he had held an entire speech and he didn’t even follow! Then again what kind of idiot tried to have a serious conversation with a guy on a buzz.

“Your eyes.” Cas said with a sigh and Dean felt a flutter in his stomach. 

“I told Gabriel that I wished he was taller and that he had green eyes.” Cas laughed and closed his eyes for a moment. Dean felt a tingling in his chest and he wanted to laugh. He pushed him in the shoulder. 

“Buddy, don’t you fall asleep. I have to make sure you are okay. So when did you tell him that?”

“I didn’t mean to. I… he wanted me to take some pills and I did, and then everything started to go so fast… you know the bartender, I’m pretty sure he kissed me, but it could have been… it could have been Gabe. I don’t know.” He trailed off and Dean put his hand on top of Cas’ that still rested on his knee. 

“I just told him. And he got so pissed at me he even started crying… I don’t think he really cried. We danced a lot after that, and something went down in that bathroom.” Cas tried to pull himself up. 

“I should shower.” He confessed and Dean didn’t want to think about what they had done in that bathroom that reminded Cas he had to shower. Cas didn’t go up, he just let his head fall back on the pillows. 

“I am too old for this shit!” He sighed.

“Why did you?”

Cas looked up in the ceiling and lifted his arms as to look at his hands. 

“I like him. He is sweet and funny. His hips can do a lot of fun things too.” He chuckled when he thought about it and looked closely at Dean who bit his lip uncomfortably.

“You are not gay.” He stated and looked straight into his green eyes. Dean jumped a little but he leaned down to him. 

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t see how you can be. You are too much of a ladies’ man.” 

Dean laughed a short laugh. “Yeah? How about I’m both a ladies’ and a man’s man?”

Cas smiled and closed his eyes, resting back on the pillows. 

“Tell me about your boyfriends then.” He demanded. 

“You have to do this now? I bet you won’t remember.”

“I will remember.” Cas said awfully sure of himself.

“Let’s just get you to bed.” Dean said nervously. 

Cas chuckled. “Like I said, you are not gay. It’s really a shame though, but what can you do?” He said looking up at him. 

“I want to sleep now. Thank you for getting me home, I guess.” 

Dean nodded. “Sure, see you tomorrow. Don’t go anywhere and don’t let someone in.” 

“I will be right here.” Cas said seriously. Dean couldn’t resist so he let one hand run over his dark hair before he got up. 

“I will call you in the morning.”


	5. Before I leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean can't figure out whether he wants to stay or wants to run

Dean drove slowly back to his childhood home thinking about Cas the whole way. He was clearly someone that Charlie felt she had to protect, maybe because he had been through a lot, and Dean found himself wanting to know what that was. What was it he had been through that made him so… vulnerable? Not that Dean thought that Cas couldn’t fend for himself, he seemed like the kind of guy that said what he meant and did what felt right. Sure, he wasn’t exactly adventures but he had built a whole life! Dean didn’t see himself in an apple pie kind of life, but deep down he had always wanted to settle down eventually. Like Sam, with a family of his own. 

Dean tried to shake his thought, but he was reminded of Cas serious look as he stated that Dean wasn’t gay. A part of him knew that Cas was right, but how could he explain the feelings Dean had for the guy? Dean didn’t like the feeling of not being in control. He wanted to be the one that had the lead in a relationship, he always had been. 

The next morning he called up Cas. 

“Good morning.” He said cheerfully, a lot more than he felt after barely being able to catch some sleep. 

“Hi.” Cas answered and he sounded more awake than Dean would have imagined. 

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. Just finished my run, and now I’m about to clean the kitchen.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I call it my post-high-high.” He chuckled a little at his own joke. 

“Well… um, that’s great. I just wanted to call and see if you were okay.”

“That’s very nice of you. Also, thank you for picking me up last night.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m just going to leave you too it then. See you around.” 

Cas spent his Sunday cleaning the house. He often experienced a kind of high after he had taken something. That was one of the many reasons he used to do it regularly. As well as the thing about him feeling uninteresting. He tried not to think about it too much and continued cleaning the house. He knew he eventually had to talk to Charlie, and she would not be too happy about last night. 

Dean was eventually called by his friend on the sailboat and decided to go back out there for a couple of weeks. His mind was doing funny things, and he was getting nowhere with Cas. They talked regularly, worked out together, and met at Sam and Charlie’s for dinner several times a week. Still, nothing happened. Sometimes Dean noticed Cas looking at him a bit longer than usual, but when they were alone no one made a move. Their lingering looks, and sometimes touches that were a bit too friendly to be just friendly, put Dean on edge. So when Benny called he jumped on the chance to get some distance and a chance to catch his breath. 

That’s what he got in mind when he went over to the usual Sunday breakfast with Sam and his family. He had made it a habit just after figuring out that Cas usually did that too, and he happened to know for sure that he would be there this morning. 

“Uncle!” Little Kevin squeaked as he saw who came in the door and threw himself into his arms. Dean picked him up and let him sit on his neck while they walked into the living room. Sam struggled with his daughter who definitely didn’t want to have her cute little dress on. Dean laughed at Sam with his paws trying to button those tiny tiny buttons at the back of the dress to the little squirming girl. 

“Laugh it up, I’m handing her over to you pretty soon.” Sam threatened. 

“What’s for breakfast?”

“Scrambled eggs I think. And Cas made you another pie.” Sam said and raised his eyebrows suggestively. Dean just shook his head and put Kevin back on the floor when he started to pull his hair. Secretly he loved that Cas brought pies over. Still, Sam seemed to think that meant something, and even if Dean thought so too, he did not like the idea of discussing it with his brother.

Charlie and Sam had a child on each their side at the table so Dean and Cas always sat together on the other side. While they ate the conversation was familiar. There was a warm feeling to it, the kids ate messy like usual, but they too were in a good mood. When they finished Sam put them down on the floor to let them play. While they ate from the pie, Dean took a deep breath.

“Sammy, I talked to Benny this morning.” He announced. 

Cas could see how understanding and realization flew over Sam’s face as he turned to look at his brother with a smile. It wasn’t something bad there, but it was obvious that he knew what was coming. 

“He’s docking in New Orleans on Wednesday.” Dean told them as he stabbed a piece of the pie with his fork, looking smug. Charlie reached over to stroke Dean’s arm lightly. 

“New Orleans? You bastard!” Sam laughed at his brother. Dean laughed with him. They both loved that city since they were kids and went there with their parents. 

“So you are going away?” Cas finally asked. Dean turned to look at him and there were apology and excitement in his features. 

“For a month or so.” 

The rest of the morning they were talking about New Orleans and where they would be going next. Benny had mentioned Cuba maybe but they might as well just keep moving to other islands out there. Cas helped Charlie clean up after breakfast and if he was quieter than usual she didn’t seem to notice. As soon as he dared he thanked her for the food and said he had to get home to get his own things done and then he took off with a quick wave at Sam and Dean in the living room. He noticed how Dean’s eyes narrowed a bit, but he didn’t take the time to think it over before he was out the door. 

Cas went on a long run. He needed to not think about anything. Running helped him, but somehow this time it wasn’t enough. The weather was warm outside so he mowed the lawn and worked a bit on his flowers. That was when he heard the car pull up by his house. He knew that sound after the last few weeks when he had been spending more time with Dean. And soon the man was standing in front of him in the middle of his lawn. No one said anything and Cas had to tell himself not to care about what his nosy neighbor Meg would make of this. 

“You just took off.” Dean said eventually. 

“Yeah, well I had stuff to do.”

Dean nodded and met Cas’ eyes for a long moment. Showing him he didn’t believe that was the real issue. 

“Fine. Since I’m leaving on Tuesday and we probably won’t get a chance at meeting until I leave I wondered if you wanted to do something today.”

“Why would you do that?”

Dean tilted his head with a curious expression. “Because I like you and want to spend time with my friend.” 

Cas nodded and noticed the slightly hurt look on Dean’s face. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry. What have you got in mind?”

“I figured we should go get something to eat and then just hang out and do whatever.” Dean told him hoping it didn’t sound too obvious that he actually asked this guy on a date. It was a lousy way of doing it, he knew that, but he had serious trouble working up the courage. He could beat himself up over it later. Here he was a nervous wreck in front of a man, but before he was about to jump off the bridge in a bungee jump he had just laughed. 

“Sure, let me grab a shower then I’ll be ready.” Cas smiled and started to walk to the door with Dean following behind. 

Cas made his way into the bathroom and tried not to think too much about the man that was in his living room. A part of him was just beyond happy that he would stop by, but another part was still hurting with the thought of him going away. 

When he got back out in the living room Dean was on the coach flipping through the channels. He turned to look when Cas came into the room and a slight blush crept up into his face. Cas had dressed in a pair of tight black jeans and a blue shirt that pulled out his eye color. His hair was messy like usual and he smiled at him. 

“Okay then. I’m ready to go. What did you have in mind?”

“Not much really. We could go out on the pier to get a real treat or since I’m a little low on money I thought a pizza could be good.” He smirked and shut off the tv. 

On the way to the car Dean found himself putting a hand on Cas’ back. No one mentioned it, but there was no doubt that made the feeling around them tightening and the ‘date’ suddenly wasn’t so innocent anymore. 

That continued for the rest of the day. They ate together and sometimes one of them would touch the other. Let a foot rub against the other’s leg or lick the oil from the pizza off of their fingers a little too suggestively. Cas saw the blush on Dean’s face when he let his tongue drag slowly over his lower lip and he swallowed hard before he forced his eyes away. 

After they finished eating they both were kind of worked up, but they still didn’t do anything else. Cas suggested they parked the car somewhere to walk down the street, maybe buy some ice cream and go to the park. Out there it was easier to think with so many families around they had to behave. They talked about themselves. Dean told him that he liked to travel; it made him forget about a lot in his life, but still made him very much aware of everything around the world, good stuff and bad stuff. Cas talked about how he and Charlie become friends and that he never had parents that cared. His mother were just lying around drinking through high school so he was mostly home at Charlie’s, and when he went to college he never looked back. 

Back outside Cas’ house Dean turned to look at him. 

“I should have asked you to come along.”Dean smiled at him. 

“Yeah right.” Cas huffed a laugh. He was a city boy and had always been. Why would he go away on the sea? 

“Why not?”

“Dean, I don’t do that kind of thing.” Cas turned to open the door but stopped when a hand rested on his shoulder.

“Fine, I won’t ask any more questions.” Dean told him in a soft voice. Cas turned to look at him and Dean smiled a little. 

“I’ll just say good bye and then we’ll see each other again whenever I get back.”

For a moment they both stared at each other, but the last weeks of touching and this day with the teasing had finally been enough. Both of them surged forward at once and their lips met hard and eager. Dean’s hands were in Cas’ hair instantly to pull him close and Cas let out a surprised noise which seemed to make Dean even more turned on. His tongue darted out to meet Cas’ and he opened his mouth to let the other one in. Cas finally got over the first surprise and caught up to him. 

Soon they were both panting fast and Cas pulled back just to look at Dean, that’s when he noticed the curtains move in the kitchen window at his neighbor. 

“We got an audience.” Cas said still breathing fast. 

“Really?” Dean grinned and pressed his lips against Cas’ neck. He obviously didn’t mind. 

Cas eventually managed to pry himself off of Dean and they staggered inside. Cas pushed him down on the couch, and was glad he had gotten the upper hand again. It wasn’t that he minded being manhandled, it was just that he preferred being in control. 

He lay down on top of the man and leaned down to kiss him. Dean’s hands were everywhere. They were roaming over his back and up into his hair and ha bared his neck to give Cas access to the soft skin there. Cas’ lips wandered down his neck and at the same time he pushed his hips forward, down onto Dean and he felt the other man rock hard against him. 

Cas almost went crazy. He opened the buttons on Dean’s shirt and followed with his lips, marking him down hit chest, teasing his nipples with such wanton Dean arched his back and grasped at his shoulders for support. 

When he got to the button of the pants Dean gasped and jumped a little. 

“Oh fuck… fuck, this… I!” He had problems getting his words out but Cas didn’t stop to give him that chance. All he wanted was a little taste of the delicious man writhing on his couch. He needed to feel him and he needed to know how it felt. 

Dean pushed his hands into Cas’ messy hair when Cas pulled his jeans down and when he licked a stripe up his long length Dean tightened his grip, just enough that it did sting a little, and just enough to make it all so much better. Cas moaned as he wrapped his lips around him and took him all the way inside. 

For a moment Dean forgot how to breathe. His head fell back against the pillows and he held on to Cas soft and wild hair. The warm and wet feeling engulfed him in a familiar way, but yet Dean was positive he had never been so turned on or gotten a blow job this good. The man was a master with his tongue and lips. Dean was sure he wouldn’t be able to hold on for long and it felt so good he couldn’t even bring himself to be embarrassed about it. He let out noises he was sure he never had done before and when he felt his cock rhythmically hit the back of Cas’ throat he wanted to scream. 

Dean only managed curses and sounds that didn’t mean anything other than to utter his pleasure and when he came Cas didn’t even blink as he swallowed it all down. Dean was panting hard as he lay down on the pillow. He knew that no matter how far away he tried to run he wouldn’t be able to forget the blue blue eyes looking up at him through his lashes with a pair of pink delicious lips wrapped tightly around his dick. He would think about it when he masturbated and he would probably remember it every time someone else would give him head. He was completely ruined and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.


	6. What's going on with you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes back and find that things have changed

Dean sat down in the café they had decided to meet and sipped his coffee. He felt better than in a long time and he was also eager to get out on the sea again. His mind had been a total mess since last time he saw Cas. He had told the man he wanted to come back to him after this month away, and even with the dubious look Cas had smiled at him and said he would look forward to him getting back. It had freaked out Dean that he uttered his wishes to Cas, and even more freaky was the feeling that he actually wanted it to be real, he was more afraid that Cas didn’t want him to come back, than to actually come back to the guy. For Dean that was totally a first, one he definitely hadn’t expected. 

When Benny showed up Dean hugged the man quick and gave his girl a hug as well. They sat down to plan what they would need before going out. Dean wrote down a few things on a list over things to buy, like rope and some cloth to fix one of the sails. Back in the boat they were all eager to get out to the sea and it wasn’t until that night Benny looked over at Dean with a curious look. He was sitting on the chair next to him where Benny were steering the boat. Dean had his feet put up and rested a book on his thighs, but wasn’t reading. 

“Brother, where’s your mind at?” Benny chuckled. 

“Oh, you know. It’s actually hard getting back to society after a long time being free.” Dean told him with a small smile. 

“So that’s what is bugging you then?”

Dean shrugged his shoulder and pointed out that nothing was “bugging” him. 

“Whatever you say, Dean, but remember I know you. Is this about Elizabeth?” Benny said. They had all been there for the fights between Dean and that woman, which eventually had made her put her feet back on the shore and take a flight home instead of sailing with them. 

“No. I don’t think about her that much. It’s over you know.” Dean said in a low voice. He was embarrassed by the fights they had in front of his friends, but he didn’t lie when he said he wasn’t thinking about her. 

“That’s good, bro. I know you don’t talk about stuff, so I’m just gonna say I’ll be here if there’s anything on that mind of yours.” Benny said just as stoic as always. 

“Alright, buddy. Don’t know why you think I need to talk though.”

“That’s because you don’t talk about stuff. I can sense that something is up.” 

Dean just rolled his eyes and teased his friend about being such a shrink, but in truth he appreciated that his friend cared, and Benny was the kind of man that could get you talking before you even knew you needed it. This time though, Dean wasn’t that keen on telling him. He had messed things up for himself. Cas had made his mind all weird, and even his heart didn’t feel like it used to. 

**

Cas spent the first week after Dean left feeling something in between sorry that he had been carried away and happy the guy was away. It was hard to stop thinking about it no matter what he did, but the hurt he felt was all because of him being too eager. He had gone too far and that made him feel a little unsettled. Cas had been aware of his own feelings for a long time, but he also knew that Dean was a rambling man who didn’t stay on one place for long at a time.   
The next week he met Gabriel coincidently in the park, and they decided to go get something to eat together. Turned out Gabriel wasn’t mad at him, and that he wanted to meet with him again. Cas knew he probably shouldn’t, but he was lonely and he wanted to have someone, even if it just were for some fun. 

It turned out to be a lot of fun. Gabriel was very good at finding stuff to do. He brought Cas to anything he could think of, from parties to trips to the zoo. They didn’t speak of that night they fought and for them it seemed to work.   
Gabriel was all fun and games, and the fun only escalated. Cas didn’t even think it over when he started to spend more time with him and less time at home. When he started to go out on the weekdays and Charlie sent concerned glances his way he felt just a little bit bad, but in his mind he knew what was going on and he just had a bit of fun. Hell, he needed to have some fun in that boring life of his.   
Often on the weekends Cas was at Gabriel’s apartment with some of his friends. Ash, Adam and Bela. They had a great time together, more often than not drunk and high. Cas had started it all because he missed Dean and because he didn’t believe the guy would come back. And if he did come back, it wouldn’t be for him. 

When Dean finally did come back it was without telling anyone, which was the reason Cas was out of town. Or he probably would have gone even if he knew. Dean looked at Charlie for answers. 

“What do you mean, out of town?” He tried really hard not to sound angry about it. 

“He will be back on Sunday.” She told him and walked into the kitchen to avoid new questions. Dean just followed her. 

“Is he away on business or something?”

Charlie turned around to look at him and her eyes were angry. 

“I know that something happened between you and Cas, I don’t know what and I don’t want to know. But if you make him believe there is something between you, and then just take off, I will not care that you are Sam’s brother. I will hurt you.” Her blue eyes stern and Dean couldn’t bring himself to tease her about the ‘big-sister-speech.’

Sunday came and Dean went over to have breakfast with Sam and his family. He knew Cas was there even before he came into the living room. The children were hanging around his neck laughing and Charlie asked them to calm down. 

“It’s Sunday; can’t we at least have a little bit of peace?” She asked but Cas just laughed. And that laugh found its way straight to Dean’s heart.

When Dean came inside Cas welcomed him and everything just seemed like normal. Dean had managed to get from Sam that Cas had been away with Gabriel, and the thought made his stomach turn into a cold knot. In the weeks he had been away he had done a lot of thinking. Benny had eventually got him to talk about Cas and he didn’t even seem surprised. 

“Sounds like you should stay home for a while, figure this thing out.” Benny said with a smile. 

And Dean wanted to. He knew himself well enough to know he would want to travel; he would eventually need to see something else. He knew that, and he also knew he wanted to share it with Cas. 

Everyone acted normal through breakfast. The children made noises, while the grown- ups was catching up on everything that had happened since last.   
Turned out that Cas had been at a concert and had an absolutely blast. Charlie seemed genuinely happy for him and even Sam wanted to hear about it. Cas didn’t say much about Gabriel even if Charlie asked about him and Dean was pleased about that. 

Later that day when Cas tied his running shoes to go back to his house Dean walked up behind him. 

“Hey, Cas.” 

Cas turned around with a small smile. Dean wasn’t smiling. For a moment they stared at each other in silence. 

“What?” Cas frowned a little. 

“What made you go back to Gabriel?” Dean asked and sounded a bit angrier than he meant to. 

“Well, I met him a week after you left and we kind of hit it off.” 

“I bet you did.” Dean muttered. 

“What’s your problem?” Cas crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

“I don’t have a problem. I just thought you would be a little bit happy to see me again.”

“Sure I am.” 

“You weren’t even here!” Dean raised his voice and Cas frowned. Why was he so angry?

“Yeah, did you expect me to sit around waiting for you to return?” Cas asked and felt bad when Dean flinched. 

“Well, we talked about it didn’t we? That we would meet up again when I got back.”

“And we did today.” 

Dean let a hand run over his face and stared at something behind Cas. 

“So you are with Gabriel for real now is that it?”

Cas bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders. “We spend some time together.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Dean, I don’t have to justify myself to you. You can’t take off and then expect everything to be the same when you come back over a month later. Life goes on for the rest of us you know.” Cas told him. Dean took a step back like Cas had hit him and nodded slowly. 

“Fine. My bad.” He resigned and Cas felt panic in his chest at that. 

“Dean. I… you think we could…”

“No, you’re right. I don’t have any right to ask what you do. Let’s just forget about it.” Dean nodded and turned to walk back inside. Cas was mad at himself, mad about Gabe, and mad that Dean chose to come back. It would have been much easier if he wouldn’t come back and make Cas want things he could never have. 

This time when Dean was home nothing was the same. He didn’t go working out with Sam and Cas, he rarely showed up to dinner if he knew Cas would be there, and he spent more time in his room. He felt like a moody teenager until he pulled himself together and decided to go out. He went out to a bar and met up with some people, drinking and having a great time. Dean had always made friends easily and now was no different. 

For a few nights he met up with some of his new friends and got a little tipsy before moving on to a club. When they were inside it was too late for Dean to go back, but he wished he could excuse himself and leave. Cas was there with Gabriel and some other people Dean didn’t recognize. They danced and laughed together, and every time Gabriel leaned over to say something in Cas’ ear or when he dropped down in his lap and practically gave the guy a lap dance right there. Dean clearly remembered Cas telling him about Gabriel’s hips and what they could do. 

Dean couldn’t sit around just watching an entire night, so when Cas walked to the bar he did as well. Cas smiled broadly at him and patted his back.

“Didn’t know you were here. You should come over and say hi to my friends.”

“Yeah, no thanks, I’m here with someone else.” 

Cas nodded and looked around like he could spot whoever it was in the crowd. Cas stepped closer to him. 

“I have missed you since our fight, Dean.” He told him and Dean was close enough to smell the guy. He was also close enough to see how dilated his pupils were. 

“Are you high?” Dean asked in a low voice. Cas pulled back a little, taking in the condemnation in Dean’s face. 

“Come on, it’s Saturday!” He told him with a grin. 

Dean shook his head. “I thought you told Charlie you didn’t do this anymore.

“Yeah, and she’s not my mother.” Cas rolled his eyes. A few drinks was placed in front of Cas and Dean wanted to take them away from him. 

“And you are combining it with alcohol, why are you so stupid?”

“Dean. I don’t need to hear this from you. I know how to do this, so just back off.” Cas started to walk away. Dean stopped him by grabbing his arm. 

“I will come by in the morning, and we will talk about this!” He growled into his ear. Cas shivered a little, but walked away. 

Cas’ house was a mess when Dean entered it at noon the next day. The kitchen was a mess of empty bottles and cups, clothes were shattered here and there around the living room, and Dean could see at least two people sleeping on the couch. None of them were Cas, thankfully. He moved on to the bedroom and passed the open bathroom door, just to see a guy sleeping on the floor curled around the toilet. Somebody got sick last night. Dean felt the frown in his forehead grew deeper and he took a deep breath before shoving the last door open. Cas was on his stomach in only his jeans, one arm dangling over the edge of the bed and his head mostly under the pillow. Beside him were another guy all curled up on himself and Dean guessed with a bad taste in his mouth that the mostly naked guy had to be Gabriel. 

“Cas.” He shook the man’s shoulder and Cas looked around when his eyes finally opened. 

“Where am I?” He rasped. 

“At home.” Dean said. 

“But… wow, things didn’t go that far last night. Gabe? Why the hell am I hallucinating? You told me it was good. Hey, Gabe!” Cas was disoriented and Dean wanted to yell at him for making this mess. 

“Cas, it’s me. Dean, remember?” He said and there was a moment when Cas struggled to sit up in bed, the button and fly on his jeans open. 

“Dean, are you really here? I’m… a bit… sorry.” He said.

“I’m here, and you obviously had one hell of a party after you left the club.” Dean looked at a man with baggy eyes and crazy hair. 

“Not so clear on the details.” Cas stood up and started to walk into the living room while he tucked himself into his jeans again. He noted the mess but continued into the kitchen. He filled a glass of water a couple of times and ignored Dean looming behind him. 

“What’s going on with you?” Dean asked in a muted voice. 

“Nothing’s going on, Dean.”

“Right. When I first met you, you were all about a quiet life. This is anything but a quiet life.” Dean made a hand gesture towards the mess around them. 

“I changed my mind. I’m still young you know. I can have some fun.”

“But going back to doing drugs is not fun.” Dean told him but Cas just shook his head. 

“What’s the big deal? Everyone does it in the weekends. They call it fun. I thought you were some kind of free spirit. Drugs are a part of that experience.”

“Maybe a joint now and again, I never saw the fun in the heavy stuff.” Dean muttered. 

“You shouldn’t give me a hard time about this, Dean. It’s my life and I didn’t promise you anything.” 

Dean shook his head and rubbed a hand over his mouth. 

“So I read all the signals the wrong way then?” Dean lifted his eyes to meet Cas’. He swallowed and squirmed a little under the gaze. 

“Dean… I don’t… How are we supposed to keep something between us? We are too different. I needed to move on.” Cas said in barely a whisper. 

“It doesn’t have to be difficult, Cas.” 

“It is, Dean. I know it is.”

Dean took a step closer to the disheveled man. Cas tensed, but didn’t move when Dean stopped right in front of him. 

“You were right about me, Cas. I’m not really gay, never have been. But there is something about you. I like you and I want to be with you. I almost couldn’t think about anything else when I was away.” 

Cas head was still a bit confused from last night, but the words slowly sank in. 

“But if you’re not gay how can I know you want it, Dean. Maybe you just want to figure out about yourself. I don’t want you to figure that out and then leave again.” He told him.

When the bodies on the couch started to stir to life Cas and Dean realized they weren’t alone. The conversation too intimate and heavy for the early morning. 

Dean left a little bit after that. He knew it was stupid of him to do this after last night, but he needed to know, he wanted to do what Benny had told him. Just go for it, figure out if it could work. Before he left though, Cas had promised they could talk later in the week. Dean said he would hold him to it, and if Cas didn’t call then Dean would come down there and talk to him no matter who was there.


	7. Our adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's new adventure is different and exciting.

Dean sat on a small pier with his feet dangling over the edge. He was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and the sun warmed his body until it was shining with sweat. He smiled when a crazy hair showed up above the water and was met with a bright smile. 

It was just after Christmas, and Dean had called in a favor from someone he knew after his many travels. Chile was warm this time of year and he had borrowed a hut in the jungle. They weren’t very far from civilization, and had access to grocery stores just a few minutes in a car. It still felt like they were alone though, with the only sounds around them being the water and the birds singing. Cas had been complaining about them the first few nights saying he couldn’t sleep over the singing. 

Six months ago Dean had convinced Cas he really wanted to be with him, to actually try out being in a relationship. He hadn’t told him at first, just asked him to go out with him. Eventually Cas gave in and went on a date with him. Dean got a job at a garage and somehow after that, Cas seemed to believe him a bit more when he said he wanted to be with him. It had taken Dean some time to convince him, but when he finally did, Cas was on board. 

Dean was the kind of guy that wanted to be in charge, he wanted to have the lea in a relationship to know where they were. Cas did too. At first they had been fighting over control. Both wanted to show the other who was in charge. Charlie and Sam had laughed at their bickering, but slowly they found themselves ready to share the role. Neither of them had been in a serious relationship before. Dean usually was the one to go into a relationship, knowing he would be the one ending it after some time. Cas just never committed to a relationship that much, knowing he would move on. 

This time neither of them wanted that. Dean wanted to be in Cas’ life, and he didn’t think about how he would break up with him when the time came. Cas was scared of giving too much of himself to Dean, but at the same time, he didn’t want it to end. That’s why they were fighting a lot of the time, and still couldn’t help but make it up to each other after.   
In time they worked through their fears and Cas started to believe that Dean wanted to stay with him. And as they got closer to Christmas they got better at being in an equal relationship which both believed in. 

Now in the hot weather Dean was happy he had convinced Cas that a trip was exactly what they needed. It was obvious that Cas felt the same way where he was lying in the water totally content. When Cas dragged himself up on the small pier next to Dean he leaned in to kiss him. Dean knew that just behind some of those trees were other huts with people in them. They could decide to come over at any time, which actually had happened a few days ago. But he couldn’t help it, when Cas started to pull back from the sweet kiss Dean dragged him closer and kissed him back with more force. Cas moaned low against his lips and bracing his hands on Dean’s shoulders to keep his balance. 

Moments later they stumbled into their private space, closing the door and down on the bed. Dean pinned Cas down in the mattress and kissed his thoroughly. Cas was more than happy to comply and thrust his hips up to meet Dean. They panted fast and Dean let his lips wander down his jaw and hummed in pleasure when Cas bared his neck so he got better access. 

How did they get to this? Dean had been a fumbling mess at the beginning. He dreaded to think about it, and even if Cas was patient with him, Dean felt like he was in a bit over his head. Dean was never afraid of intimate contact; it was just that they fell into a habit where Cas always came out on top. Dean didn’t know how to respond to that, and it also scared him a little that he actually was turned on by it.   
Cas had figured it out eventually and for the first few times he let Dean take the lead. That made him a little bit more comfortable, and it didn’t take long before he gave in to Cas.   
While Dean was distracted by his thoughts Cas flipped him over and laughed at Dean’s surprised gasp. His gasp soon turned into moans and pleasured sighs as Cas kissed h is way down his body. Sucking and biting at Dean’s nipples before finding his hip bones. 

“Oh, Cas, stop teasing!” Dean told him when he avoided his hard, leaking cock and sucked at his balls instead. Cas hummed and waited a little before he let his tongue swipe lower and over his hole. Dean gasped and spread his legs to make him come closer. Cas did it again, and this time he swirled his tongue around and sucked on his rim. Dean loved it when he did that. He relaxed his body and felt when the tight muscle gave in because Cas pushed his tongue inside.   
Dean was shaking by the time Cas had two fingers inside of him. It was slick and easy, but he enjoyed the feeling of Cas’ capable fingers fucking him just right. But even Cas had a limit, and finally he slicked himself up and pressed against Dean’s entrance. Cas pushed in all the way and both men groaned at the tight feeling. Dean was breathing deeply and made a low growling sound as he got used to feeling so full. He loved it when Cas was deep inside of him, and for a moment they were still. Cas hovered over him looking into his eyes. Dean smiled up at those blue eyes blown with lust and something that resembled love. Dean never dared to think about that, for him this relationship was still new. He wanted to say he felt love, he really did, but for him it was a risk to take. 

“Feel so good, Dean.” Cas muttered and bent down to kiss his neck.   
Dean hummed and rolled his hips slowly in a sign to Cas that he should start moving. Cas slowly pulled almost all the way out before he sank back in. Dean arched his back with a loud moan and Cas did it again. He soon picked up the rhythm and thrust into Dean with small grunts and heavy panting. 

It’s fast and dirty, but sweet and caring as well. The position allowed them to kiss each other, and Dean let his hands explore the slender body above him. When they get closer to the edge Cas nudged his legs up over his shoulders and go faster. Dean gasped when Cas hit his prostate, and when he found it he does that again and again until the only thing Dean could get out was Cas name over and over. Cas moved his hand down to Dean’s cock and with only a few strokes he came wet and heaving over his chest and Cas hand. Cas grunted, probably at Dean clenching around him, and with a few more hard thrusts he tensed and came deep inside of him. 

**

Home again after their vacation, Dean goes back to the garage and Cas to his office. On their trip they talked about it, how they wanted to do that again. Dean thought about that for a while. They met several times a week, more often than not, Dean slept at Cas’ house instead of going home. Dean had found a small and very cheap apartment, but mostly they spent the time at Cas’ house.   
Dean found out that he liked the idea of traveling with Cas, but he wasn’t sure how much the guy wanted it. Sure, a vacation was good, but Dean usually went places that involved more shabby huts with the locals and less beaches with fancy hotels and drinks. 

Dean didn’t bring it up. He worked at the garage, making his mother surprised he stayed for so long and even more so when he told her that it was because he was seeing Cas. It wasn’t because she was surprised he was with a guy. As far as she knew, Dean did just anything that felt right, so if being with a guy felt right, who was she to say anything? 

It was Cas who brought it up. They were in bed, it was late and they were both tired. Dean was lying on his stomach close to Cas so he could avoid lying on the wet patch on the other side of the bed. 

“Are you planning on traveling, Dean?” Cas suddenly asked and Dean didn’t say anything at first, just lay completely still apart from the hand that played with Cas hair. Cas stared at him with his blue eyes and Dean wanted to lean in and smooth out the frown in his forehead. 

“I don’t know. Probably.” He said because he was always planning something. He used to have a plan forming in his head the day he came home from his last one. They both know that the reason Dean has stayed at home for so long, and even had his own place now, was because of what they had together. 

“Will you tell me about it?” Cas asked a little strained in his voice. 

“I’m not going anywhere, not yet anyway.” Dean told him and felt more than saw the nod ha got back. 

“I’ve been thinking.” Cas sounded nervous, like he was afraid to continue, but Dean gave him an encouraging nudge in his shoulder. 

“Would you consider letting me tag along on one of your next travels?” Cas said and was tense in his body as he waited for the reply. 

“You want that?” Dean asked and pulled himself up into a sitting position to see Cas better. The man was splayed out on the bed, feet tangled in the mess of sheets, his hair sticking out in every direction. It wasn’t the first time Dean had thought that the guy was beautiful. He thought of the possibilities of traveling with Cas. Dean wanted to show him all the beauty around them. He wanted to take the guy with him on the sailboat with Benny to see the open sea and the animals that lived out there. Dean could see Cas with a backpack on, walking on dusty roads to a village far from the modern world they came from. 

“I would, with you.” Cas said, and Dean smiled lazily already two steps ahead in his mind, thinking about the way they could plan this, for a new adventure. One they could have together. Cas seemed to understand that and pulled him down for a kiss. 

“We can look at it tomorrow, right?” Cas asked, but Dean threw the blanket aside and padded barefoot into the living room. Moments later he was back with the laptop under his arm and a grin on his face. 

“I knew it!” Cas said letting his head fall back in a laugh and Dean was glad he had made himself stay to be in this guys life.


End file.
